Going to church can hurt. Like really hurt. As in it can bring on a panic attack or tears and emotional soul wrenching.
The weight of years of partial truth on your shoulders pulls down in full force. There are triggers starting in the parking lot. Just making it inside the church building takes outrageous courage. You want to believe. You want to be there. The foyer starts to spin. Your heart beats faster and faster. People around you become a blur. The feeling to run overwhelms. The music and program format are all too familiar. You remember the past. It feels as though someone is slowly wrapping your body in plastic wrap. Before long, your whole body is tight and you can’t hear anything but the pounding inside your head and you finally give in to the desire to escape before your whole being explodes.
Just the name brings up thoughts of romance. Movies. Chocolate croissants. Glitz and glam. Art and fashion.
As part of our homeschool experience, my family was able to make the journey to Paris, France - in the middle of September. It was the perfect time to go. It was in the 50’s most days, and a little rainy off and on. We were ready and had packed rain jackets and water-proof boots so the weather didn’t hold us back.
For about a month, our library’s shelves were depleted of anything related to the France and it’s history as we prepared for the trip of a lifetime.
This is Part 3 and the Conclusion of the series, “DNA Testing and Unexpected Results - How should Christians respond when it happens to them?” What does God and the Bible say about processing this new-found NPE (Not Parent Expected) discovery?
Lives are being shattered and rebuilt because of questions being answered.
Frequently, people had a feeling growing up or just never felt like they fit in to the family that raised them. The girl who gave up her child for adoption has often wept and tried to find her baby. The boy who was mistreated by the family who raised him, but couldn’t figure out why everyone else was treated better than him now understands.
Some of the gut feelings or deeply agonized questions are getting answers because of DNA testing. For some, their DNA results literally shatter their lives. But for others, it’s resolution.
When a Christian is on the receiving end of surprise DNA testing results, how should they respond?
This is Part 2 of “DNA Testing and Unexpected Results - How should Christians respond when it happens to them?”
Families are being united and torn apart.
This is two-fold:
Someone discovers they are the result of a secret (affair/rape, donor conceived, etc.) or maybe there’s a different biological father and Mom didn’t even know. Perhaps they were adopted and have just discovered their biological family! Now that individual (NPE) must decide what to do. Their identity is shattered - who are they really? Do you tell your mom you know? How does this affect your spouse, children, aunts and uncles, grandparents and others in your family? Your family name, do you change it? Will people treat you the same? Why do you feel different?
Have you SEEN the news lately? DNA testing has caused one media frenzy after another. Ancestry, 23 And Me and other companies are leading the way in connecting our DNA with the world. There is even a non-profit established to help those with shocking DNA discoveries - it’s called NPE Friends Fellowship, founded by Catherine St Clair.
The traditional family structure is being challenged by folks locating half siblings, biological parents and other family members. Individuals are discovering that one, or both parents aren’t who they thought. People with this unexpected event are being called NPEs. NPE stands for Not Parent Expected, but it used mean Non Paternity Event by the genealogy community. As the discovery numbers have increased, both maternal and paternal surprises are happening, thus the switch in wording.
Mommy groups have never been my thing. I just never fit in. As a younger mom, I really tried to connect with other moms in my church and community. Whenever I tried, it just wasn’t natural. Everything was awkward. Finally, I stopped forcing myself into uncomfortable situations.
For years I thought something was wrong with me and I was just a social misfit.
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”
— Proverbs 27:17
Happily, we announce that we've been given amazing, Godly, supportive friends who just "get" us. Those couple of gals who cry with us, talk until we can't talk any more, bring us a double shot frappe or come hang out even when the house is trashed.
This is awesome. This is needful. We all need a tribe. We need friends who accept the toys strewn all over the house and who fold the laundry piled on our couch all while telling us how impressed they are with how together we seem.
How do you choose a Christmas family tradition? When every family starts out, at some point the conversation happens, “What family traditions will we have?”
For younger families that perhaps want something new, or maybe there were no set traditions growing up, it can be overwhelming. Maybe all you have are bad memories at the Holidays. That doesn’t have to hold true for your own kids.
Here are my recommendations for some of the Best Educational Gifts for Kids. It’s hard to know what to get kiddos for Christmas or their birthday. Is it junk? Does it actually work? Will they like it? What purpose does it serve?
As an educator, I’m always on the lookout for things that are fun, yes, but also expand your mind and creativity or allow you to build a new skill.
Brianne Kirkpatrick is the founder of DNA Watershed. She is a DNA Counselor, wife and Super-Mom to three children. And to top it off, Brianne has co-authored a book on DNA topics for adoptees which will be released soon! It’s such an honor that she agreed to be a guest on my blog!
Brianne and I met briefly at NBC Studios while on set for the Megyn Kelly Show a couple of months ago. She is leading the charge in the world of DNA Counseling. With the tsunami of people taking DNA tests via Ancestry.com, 23 and Me and others, there often come questions and surprises. Brianne is there to help you navigate the waters of understanding who you are, genetically.